


An Angry Silly Outing

by anotherfandomanotherobsession



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mentions of Tucker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-17
Updated: 2015-09-17
Packaged: 2018-04-21 03:55:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4814033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anotherfandomanotherobsession/pseuds/anotherfandomanotherobsession
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Church and Caboose rarely went out together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Angry Silly Outing

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, first time writing churboose so I'm sorry if they are a bit ooc. Also some other warnings; the words retard and faggot are used very briefly, hence the teen rating.

Church sighed as he entered the living room where Caboose was gently petting their new puppy, Freckles, as he was currently asleep. It was actually quite a sight to see, a tall, well-built man, such as Caboose, hunched over his lap lightly rubbing the tiny pup’s back.

Church made his way over to Caboose and leaned over to peck him on the cheek. 

Caboose smiled, but still wrinkled his eyebrows, deliberately putting a finger to his mouth, indicating that Church should be quiet.

Church stuck out his tongue at this and bent over to pick up the new puppy and set him in his bed. 

“Church!” Caboose whispered, “Why would you do that! He was so warm! I like warm! Not to mention adorable!”

Church turned and walked towards Caboose and tossed himself into his lap, completely taking Caboose off guard. “Listen, buddy, I’m warm and adorable too.” Church wrapped his arms around Caboose’s neck. 

Caboose looked like he was about to make a retort of some kind, but Church quickly pulled their foreheads together and smirked, “Plus, I can do this.” And he gave his boyfriend a loving kiss on the lips.

Caboose sat there, dumbfounded, his blush slowly making his cheeks turn pink. He swallowed, “…Technically, couldn’t Freckles do that too?”

“Ew, dude!” Church pushed Caboose’s chest, though it didn’t really make him move much, “That’s bestiality!”

Caboose pondered this a moment, “So…it’s best-i-al-ity when I let him lick food off my face?”

Church rolled his eyes, “No, no that’s just you getting dog germs all over your face-shit! I can’t believe I fucking kissed you, god dammit!” Church quickly began wiping his mouth, and Caboose couldn’t stop laughing; watching Church get angry over silly things was just the best.

Church, still seated in Caboose’s lap, crossed his arms and glared at his boyfriend. “It’s not fucking funny, asshole.” 

“You are adorable, Church.”

Fuck. Church began to feel his cheeks grow warm. “Whatever, fucker.”

“Church?”

“…Yeah?”

“I’m hungry.”

Church sighed and looked at the clock, it was pretty late in the evening, definitely too late for a proper dinner. “Well, what do you want?”

Caboose tilted his head, thinking hard about making the right food choice. After a while he seemed to finally come to a consensus in his brain, “How about we do something different?”

Church squinted his eyes, “What do you mean?”

“Well…we always stay home- not that home is a bad thing, I mean I love home because it’s nice and I know where things are, but maybe we could go out?”

Church’s eyes widened at this suggestion, “Like…on a proper date?”

Caboose threw his head back and laughed, “No, silly, whenever I’m with you is a proper date. I mean like a, a thingy.”

Church honestly had no idea what Caboose meant by that, “A thingy?”

“Yes. Exactly.”

Goddammit, Church couldn’t believe he was saying this, “What’s a thingy?”

“Oh! One of the late places.”

Could Caboose really be proposing that- well fuck it, he might as well ask. “You mean a bar?”

Caboose clapped his hands together, “Yes, Church, yes! A bar!”

Church thought about this a moment; he figured a change of pace would be nice around here, the only bad thing was that he could get pretty riled up when he was drinking, even more so than he was sober, and he wasn’t too sure he was ready to let Caboose see that side of him. Ah, fuck it, you only live once right? “Sure, buddy, I think I remember one Tucker told me about.”

They quickly got ready, Church tying up Caboose’s laces for him, and got in their car to drive to ‘the most banging bar in the world’, as Tucker put it. 

\---------------

The drive was over and almost all too soon they found themselves entering the establishment. 

As it turns out, the place wasn’t too bad, but it wasn’t the classiest of bars Church had seen. Though it did have some nice music playing in the background.

Church and Caboose both went to sit at the counter; Church desperately trying to get the bartender’s attention. 

Caboose tugged on Church’s sleeve and leaned close to whisper in his ear, “We can get food here too, right?”

Holy shit, was this Caboose’s first time at a bar? Church smiled, “Of course, idiot.”

Caboose leaned back in the stool and nodded his head, “Do you think they have French fries?”

“Yes, Caboose, I’m sure they have French fries. Just for you.” He leaned in and gave Caboose a peck on the nose, making him blush.

Eventually, Church was able to get the bartender’s attention and gave them their order: one order of medium fries and two drinks, the hardest one being for himself.

“Hey, Church! You’ll never guess what I found!”

Church leaned on his elbow, “What, what did you find?”

“We can play tic-tac-toe!” Church pulled a rumpled napkin out of his pocket and two crayons from the other, and proceeded to draw multiple tic-tac-toe boards.

Church laughed at this, “Why the fuck do you have crayons and napkins in your pocket?”

“For emergencies just like these!”

“Fine, but I want the blue one.”

Caboose looked at Church, his eyes growing a bit sad, “But Church! I like blue!”

“Fine, ass hat, give me the pink one.” 

\---------------------

Several rounds of tic-tac-toe later, their food was finally ready.

About halfway through their meal, Church starting his third drink, both of them sharing the fries, Caboose abruptly stopped eating. 

Church immediately took notice, “What’s wrong, buddy?”

“Nothing, Church, I have a question though.”

“What’s you’re question?”

“Are French fries really from France?”

Before Church could formulate a response, he heard a, clearly drunken, guy yell from directly behind them, “Fucking, of course they aren’t from France, retard!”

Church slammed his drink down and stood up from where he was seated. He turned around and quickly spotted the man who had shouted that; he really wasn’t too hard to pick out. He was just about to head towards him, when Caboose grabbed his arm, easily restricting him. 

Caboose stated in a rushed whisper, “Church please, it’s just something silly, lets just pay and leave. Please.”

“Caboose!” Now Church was the one who was yelling, “You can’t let that asshole get away with calling you that!”

Tears were forming in Caboose’s eyes, “Church, please, please let’s just go. I don’t like it when you get angry over silly things.”

Church growled and yanked his arm away, giving Caboose no choice but to let him go. 

He marched right up to the intoxicated male and stood in his face, trying his best to be intimidating even though he was easily a foot shorter. “What kind of business do you think you have, going around, fucking calling people retards?”

The guy leaned down and got right in Church’s face, “It’s all of my business; it’s not my fault all you fucking faggots are retarded.” His breath reeked of alcohol.

“What the fuck did you just say?” Church’s hands now balled into fists.

“It’s. All. Of. My. Busi-“ the drunken man was interrupted by Church punching him, right in the jaw.

The man had stumbled backwards before regaining his balance, “You hit like a girl, faggot.”

Church shook off his hand, holy fuck did that hurt, and soon the two men were on top of each other again.

\--------------------------

Caboose and Church both sat outside of the bar on the curb, Caboose holding an icepack to Church’s eye.

Soon after the fight had began, the bouncers were able to escort both of them out of the place, but not before each man could get in a few punches. Church was positive that he would have a nasty bruise on his gut by tomorrow, not to mention all over his face. He had a split, swollen lip, a bloody nose, and, not to mention, the inevitable black eye. At least that asshole had gotten what he deserved.

Caboose spoke in a tender whisper, “…You didn’t have to do that, you know.”

Church sighed, “I know. But listen, the guy was out of line and you asked a legitimate question…”

They sat in silence for a while; soon Caboose set the icepack in his lap; gently pulling Church into his lap, and very delicately nuzzled Church’s neck. Choking back a sob, Caboose said “Thank you, Church, thank you so much.”

Church’s heart shattered upon hearing his boyfriend sound so broken, his own eyes were starting to tear up too. Had he been the first person to really stand up for Caboose? 

Caboose was now shaking, attempting to muffle his crying by burying his face into Church’s neck even further. 

Church reached his arm around and began to rub Caboose’s back; just like how he does when Caboose has nightmares. “No problem, buddy…I love you.”

Caboose raised his head up to wipe his nose, “I love you too, Church.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Feel free to check out my tumblr: http://theobsessedempress.tumblr.com


End file.
